I bet that if I asked you to name something brilliant that you did this week you would have to think about it.
Yet, if I asked you to name what you did’t do or messed up, you could probably list off a few without taking a breath. Then you will probably put yourself down (even if it is with an embarrassing chuckle – you know, the one that makes it a little harmless joke).
I spoke to a lady once after she had made a small mistake. She did the embarrassing little chuckle as she described herself as hopeless. Ninety nine point nine percent of the time she walks around perfectly, doing a brilliant job at her career and being an absolute gem of a friend. But because she did this one thing at this one time in her thirty five year life she labels herself as hopeless.
The thing is, we are generally successful! We set out to get up each day, get dressed, drive to work or catch public transport, we do what we do at work without missing a beat or mucking things up. But we don’t credit ourselves for these things because it is a normal part of every day. We only remember the extra-ordinary things!
We remember the:
- person who yelled at us because not everything was perfect
- slightly mis-timed decision to turn into a street and it interfered with another vehicle’s general driving pleasure
- word accidentally said in frustration to a colleague
As far as percentages go for most of the days in your life you are a successful man or woman! You unconsciously set simple goals and achieve them easily and often. So why not upgrade yourself from being “normal” to being a “successful man/woman”. You feel good after a successful day!
So how about we make a little pact, right here, right now.
- How about we celebrate our success! Small ones as well as big ones
- How about we learn from our experiences, own them rather than pile guilt and shame on ourselves and then let them go, concentrating only on the good things that happened in our day. If you are always learning then you have a better understanding of how to make suitable improvements
- How about we stop putting negative labels on ourselves. This is not cute, its’s not fun and it’s not healthy. You are not the sum of one unfortunate moment in your whole day/week/etc.
- If everything doesn’t go your way then stand up and own your part in the problem – without blame on anyone
- Then you can actively think of some solutions to that problem and celebrate finding a solution – this will make you solution focussed
A solution focussed, successful man – Now that’s living a fabulous life!